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Do you know anyone that you feel should know better than the actions they perform?  Have you ever met someone that seems to have opportunities handed to them but they choose to decline them?  How about someone that carries on as if they do not have the ability to do and say things….smarter?  I know I have.  And if I’m the only one then so be it.  An intelligent young man presented me with a term for people like this as having “Intellectual Disabilities”.  People that have an opportunity to better themselves one way or another and they choose not to.  I wouldn’t so much go with the term exactly because a disability is not a choice.  However, I do agree that there are people the fit the definition.  Why is that?

Every day we come in contact with people that we feel should know how to do this and learn how to acquire that but they don’t.  Some people don’t want to put the effort in to do thing differently whether it is to better their lives or not.  And I won’t say that I’ve jumped at every single opportunity to better myself that was presented to me.  But I can say that as I’ve grown older, I have learned to do my research before accepting or declining anything.  For some that’s too much like work.  This subject, much like life, has more than one side to it.

On one side is that the level of comfort some people have with ignorance.  No, I don’t mean ignorant as in an educational sense or stupid for lack of a better word.  Ignorance as it related to knowledge.  They’re comfortable knowing what they know and they don’t care to know any more.  It’s their security blanket.  I have something called the “Easy Button Theory”.  Basically, rather than put the effort to do something you’re not used to or that’s not fun for you, go for the lazy option…..push the easy button.  It’s a simple concept really.  Unproductive….but simple.  The problem with this doesn’t necessarily come from the fact that some people just choose not to elevate themselves on way or another but rather comes from when those same people complain about not being elevated.  Always wanting better but not putting in any effort for better.  I have always said, “if you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten.”  

Fact.  You can always come up with an excuse for not doing something.

Fact.  You can always find a way to do just enough to get by.

Fact.  More people are living the lives they’ve settled with that those that have surpassed their settlements.

It’s a matter of choice.  One has to choose to open themselves to the possibilities of positives.  One has to decide that they’re going to do whatever it takes to go back to school, stay in school, learn a new language, experience different cuisines, accept a better lifestyle.  When the decision is made, more decisions will be prompted and they will learn to decide better and better for better and better.

The other side is that what you feel is good for someone may not always be the case.  TRUTH MOMENT!!!  I have a hard time dealing with this side.  I’m the older sister of several siblings and I always want the best for them.  So I voice what I feel is best.  And sweetie, I have no problem voicing anything.  But while there are times that I am right about my feelings, there are times that the truth sets in that I don’t always know what’s right for them.  I know what I would like to be right for them.  When we care about people, we tend to take on their pain and problems.  Then we start looking for solutions as if we were them.  This can’t be done 100% of the time because no one thing is 100% anything.  Here’s an example:

My 25 year-old brother has been presented an opportunity to go to college for graphic arts.  He’s a fantastic artist and he could do really well making some great money after he graduates.  He has his heart set on being a musician.  He’s been singing his whole life, plays three instruments and is in a band.  Not much money being made at all and the gigs are few and far between.  He declines college.  I’m dumbfounded.  Why wouldn’t he go to school better himself?

The answer is that my idea of better and his idea of better are different.  Better for him is to do what he loves and persist with it.  And since it’s his life…it’s got to be his choice.  He has to push his own buttons.

The Easy Button Theory can go both ways.  It can be a means of continuing mediocrity.  Or it can be a way to find what comes naturally and continuing the pursuit of happiness.  It’s a way of being progressively content.  Moving slowly toward the goals you set.  The operative word is “moving” as opposed to sitting still.  Success is relative and, in a lot of cases where opinions are involved, better is a matter of perception.  If someone is complaining about the choices they’ve made, speak once (if you must) and lay down your microphone.  If the person is progressively content, offer encouragement and let them be.

~Queen

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