The Spoken Series – Summer Session

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Queen It Shall Be presents The Spoken Series – Summer Session!!

There is an amazing amount of poetic talent that surrounds South Carolina! And to showcase it, this is the first poetry event held by the Unusual Suspect, Queen It Shall Be. An evening of spoken word hosted by none other than Ms. Pretty People herself, Courtnay ThePoet!!
Featuring local spoken word artists Bugsy Calhoun, Ashley Gowens “Bittersweet”, Tavis P Brunson, Kay Mightierthanthesword Parks with more to be added. 

Tickets are $10.00 in advance, $15.00 at the door.

ALSO…..There will be a sweepstakes for FIVE amazing prizes such as
*$100 tattoo by Spiryt Tha Tattoo-Poet
*Gift certificate for 1 night at a Hilton hotel
*60-minute massage, straight to you by Complete Therapeutics via Robinson-Mosby Production and Management
*Cupcake sampler by Lil’Bits Cupcakery
*Covered strawberries by Exclusive Berries

Sweepstakes entries are ONLY $1.00 PER ENTRY. So the more times you enter, the more chances you have to win!!!

Click the link below, contact Queen It Shall Be for tickets at 770-727-5717 (please leave a message) or email queenitshallbe@gmail.com for tickets.

Ticket Options
Ticket Only $10.00 USD
Prize Entry $1.00 USD

IT’S HERE!!!

Reintroduction Cover

My first ever poetry mixtape is finally here. Reintroduction by Queen It Shall Be is completed and ready for purchase. Only $10.00!!! That’s a trip to the Chinese restaurant (that’s how I justify it…lol)

Here’s a track from the new project.  If you like what you hear, click the cover photo above or the link below to get your copy.

BuyNow

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=AE7VYTPH7ZRBS

What Women Do Wrong In Relationships

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Yes.  The title is written correctly.  I am about to admit we women are not always right.  We do not always have the answers and we don’t always do what we should for the people we say we love.  Before you completely judge me and turn your nose up at this post, hear me out and see if I’m the least bit accurate.  Deal?  Here we go!

It seems to me that some women are under the misconception that they can do no wrong.  Women from all backgrounds and walks of life included.  They blame their feelings and, in due time, actions on what’s either been taught to them or done to them.  Then when you put social networking and the media in the mix, you have a big ball of females from the ages of 16-36 acting a plain ass.  I happen to believe in strong fulfilling relationships and believe in doing the necessary work to maintain the positive ones.  Notice I said positive ones.  There’s a huge difference between a relationship that seems good and one that is good for you but I’ll touch that on another blog.

Cutting to the chase, here are some of the things that, in my opinion help women to mess up potentially good relationships.  Some of these you may not have considered before.

The issue:  Financial Resentment.  This is a vice that has been fueled by popular music and reality television.  It happens when a woman is in a relationship with someone that does not have the financial means to provide the expensive lifestyle that she wants to have.  She’ll find herself belittling the mate, making smart comments and snide remarks.  Comparing them to what someone else has or what such and such’s man or woman bought for her.  Embarrassing them in public settings and creating unnecessary tension between the two of them.  It’s displaced jealousy and can tear a relationship apart quicker than one season of RHOA.

The reality:  You choose to stay.  No matter how real reality television is, it is not your reality.  Therefore, a woman making someone feel small because of what isn’t being purchased for her when she’s nowhere in the situation to receive such extravagance is ridiculous.  How can you resent someone for not buying you something when they don’t have the money?  If you want it so bad, get your happy behind up and get it yourself since it’s so easy!  At the end of the day, if a woman feels so strongly about being spoiled with material things, then it’s up to her to get her act together and attract the type of money she requires.  Or, she could be happy with something genuine because….you know what they say about burning bridges.

The issue:  Judge, Jury and Stenographer.  Okay, I admit to committing this one.  Basically, a woman can feel so passionate and correct about a particular subject or incident in their relationship that they will ask the question, answer the question and the recall what the other person said relating the question prior to the discussion.  Here’s an example:  

When did I say that I would be alright with you having lunch with your ex?

Never?!

What I said was I didn’t see why you wanted to see your ex again.  

Then you said that she was still cool and it wasn’t a big deal

Then I said that it was a big deal and asked how you would feel if my ex asked me out to lunch.

Then you said you wouldn’t care because you trusted me.

Then I said that I could trust you all day but I don’t trust her and I wouldn’t be alright with that.

Then you said okay.

Then I said I’m serious.

And you said that you heard me.

I never said it would be alright!

The reality:  Nothing gets accomplished.  And, the listening party hates this!  I guarantee it.  It is literally the equivalent to a one woman firing squad and they’re still outnumbered because they can’t get a word in edgewise.  It also proves that the woman can’t really let things go because they spend so much time storing up ammunition for the next argument they may get into.  It’s annoying, time consuming and I am working on it (I’m just saying).

The issue:  Antennas Up.  When a woman’s trust is violated and her heart is broken, it’s not easy for her to become comfortable with someone else.  However, some women don’t use the time in between relationships to heal and instead they get into another relationship.  Now this can work out well for some women that have learned that all relationships are not created equal.  But for those not in tune with that philosophy, it can become a crock-pot of suspicion and insecurity.

The reality:  They didn’t do it.  It’s always a bad idea for a woman to go into a relationship 100% guarded because she’ll never give herself a chance to fully hear what the other person is trying to say to her or do for her.  All she’s going to see is what her past has done to her.  The truth is, the person she’s with now, didn’t do anything to her back then.  And if they keep taking heat for what someone else did, they’ll either find another somebody OR they’ll find another somebody and do to that person what she did to them.  A woman has to find a way to let all of that baggage go.

These are just a few things that can hinder a relationship and create additional problems that no one wants to deal with nor are they ready for.  My take on a woman’s faults is simple.  No one is perfect so no one should go around acting as if they are.  Relationships can be beautiful if you treat them in such a way.  Take accountability for what has been done on your part and make a conscious effort to do better…and then better than that.

 

~Queen

Dream Boards Rock! Especially Online!

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I remember watching a sitcom where the main character tried to figure out what to do with his life and ended up constructing a dream board.  A big white poster board filled with magazine clipped photos of all the things he wanted to get in life.  He had a huge mansion, a yacht, a beautiful swimsuit model, expensive car, clothes, and some stuff that was just ridiculous to me like Yoda from Star Wars and other things.  But I never forgot seeing it for the first time and remembering that he said it was important for him to wake up and look at what he wanted everyday.

Of course, it got me to thinking about creating one of my own.  However, I didn’t end up doing so for another several years.  I guess I had to get myself in a position to allow myself to dream at all.  And now that I have, let me tell you how inspiring it is.

First, if you don’t know what a dream board is, I encourage you to google it right now and get an idea of some examples if you want to have one in your presence that you can touch and assemble on your own.  Next, if you don’t know what Pinterest is…..FIND OUT ABOUT PINTEREST!!!  I was introduced by a former co-worker and I’ve been an advocate ever since.  Almost anything you want photos, articles, or websites about, you can find there.  AND, you don’t have to clutter up your favorites on your web browser to keep them.

Since we live in a digital age, I’m going to suggest Pinterest for your first dream board project.  The idea behind this site is genius.  Search for something and then stick a pin in it so you can come back to it later.  I LOVE IT!!!  Sign up for Pinterest (it’s free) either on your desktop or mobile device and it will walk you through starting your first board, search and get to pinning.  I have several.  You can even interact with others and see their boards as well.  If you are already familiar with Pinterest, you probably use it to pin things like fashion, food, celebrities, memes and other cool things.  But I’m going to challenge those that haven’t had the courage to dream lately.  I’m going to challenge you to search for the dream house you want to have, the foods you want to be able to cook, things you want to create, the places you want to travel to.  You’d be surprised at how many people deny looking for anything because they’ve already deemed themselves unable to acquire anything.

Set up a private board, just for your eyes only, and add all the things you want to acquire in life.  Add some inspirational quotes in there also.  I dare you to wake up every morning, thank God for the day and look to your board for additional motivation.  Add other pins as much as you please.  It actually feels really good.  But there’s a trick to it.  Once you pin it, you can’t go telling yourself that you’ll never have it.

Remember when you were a little kid and you got the Toys ‘R Us catalog and you circled everything you wanted?  Or if you were an inner city kid like me, you played “that’s my car”?  It’s the same idea, except now, instead of waiting on mom and dad to find your list that you strategically placed on the fridge and television screen, you’re reminding yourself of what you want.  It’s a visual reminder to keep dreaming and keep going.   And who knows?  If you believe enough….you may just receive it.

 

~Queen

The Easy Button Theory

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Do you know anyone that you feel should know better than the actions they perform?  Have you ever met someone that seems to have opportunities handed to them but they choose to decline them?  How about someone that carries on as if they do not have the ability to do and say things….smarter?  I know I have.  And if I’m the only one then so be it.  An intelligent young man presented me with a term for people like this as having “Intellectual Disabilities”.  People that have an opportunity to better themselves one way or another and they choose not to.  I wouldn’t so much go with the term exactly because a disability is not a choice.  However, I do agree that there are people the fit the definition.  Why is that?

Every day we come in contact with people that we feel should know how to do this and learn how to acquire that but they don’t.  Some people don’t want to put the effort in to do thing differently whether it is to better their lives or not.  And I won’t say that I’ve jumped at every single opportunity to better myself that was presented to me.  But I can say that as I’ve grown older, I have learned to do my research before accepting or declining anything.  For some that’s too much like work.  This subject, much like life, has more than one side to it.

On one side is that the level of comfort some people have with ignorance.  No, I don’t mean ignorant as in an educational sense or stupid for lack of a better word.  Ignorance as it related to knowledge.  They’re comfortable knowing what they know and they don’t care to know any more.  It’s their security blanket.  I have something called the “Easy Button Theory”.  Basically, rather than put the effort to do something you’re not used to or that’s not fun for you, go for the lazy option…..push the easy button.  It’s a simple concept really.  Unproductive….but simple.  The problem with this doesn’t necessarily come from the fact that some people just choose not to elevate themselves on way or another but rather comes from when those same people complain about not being elevated.  Always wanting better but not putting in any effort for better.  I have always said, “if you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten.”  

Fact.  You can always come up with an excuse for not doing something.

Fact.  You can always find a way to do just enough to get by.

Fact.  More people are living the lives they’ve settled with that those that have surpassed their settlements.

It’s a matter of choice.  One has to choose to open themselves to the possibilities of positives.  One has to decide that they’re going to do whatever it takes to go back to school, stay in school, learn a new language, experience different cuisines, accept a better lifestyle.  When the decision is made, more decisions will be prompted and they will learn to decide better and better for better and better.

The other side is that what you feel is good for someone may not always be the case.  TRUTH MOMENT!!!  I have a hard time dealing with this side.  I’m the older sister of several siblings and I always want the best for them.  So I voice what I feel is best.  And sweetie, I have no problem voicing anything.  But while there are times that I am right about my feelings, there are times that the truth sets in that I don’t always know what’s right for them.  I know what I would like to be right for them.  When we care about people, we tend to take on their pain and problems.  Then we start looking for solutions as if we were them.  This can’t be done 100% of the time because no one thing is 100% anything.  Here’s an example:

My 25 year-old brother has been presented an opportunity to go to college for graphic arts.  He’s a fantastic artist and he could do really well making some great money after he graduates.  He has his heart set on being a musician.  He’s been singing his whole life, plays three instruments and is in a band.  Not much money being made at all and the gigs are few and far between.  He declines college.  I’m dumbfounded.  Why wouldn’t he go to school better himself?

The answer is that my idea of better and his idea of better are different.  Better for him is to do what he loves and persist with it.  And since it’s his life…it’s got to be his choice.  He has to push his own buttons.

The Easy Button Theory can go both ways.  It can be a means of continuing mediocrity.  Or it can be a way to find what comes naturally and continuing the pursuit of happiness.  It’s a way of being progressively content.  Moving slowly toward the goals you set.  The operative word is “moving” as opposed to sitting still.  Success is relative and, in a lot of cases where opinions are involved, better is a matter of perception.  If someone is complaining about the choices they’ve made, speak once (if you must) and lay down your microphone.  If the person is progressively content, offer encouragement and let them be.

~Queen

Excuse Me…..I Have a Note.

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I posted a request on my Facebook artist page asking subscribers to send me topics that they would like me to blog about.  This is a personal challenge for me to see just how far I can extend myself to answer questions in a way that is both informative and entertaining to the reader.  Here’s the first one.

Subject:  Why The Media Allows Mental Health To Be The Justification For Violence In White America, But Not In Urban Environments.

First, let me say that I rarely watch the news.  Not because I enjoy being ignorant to politics, regulations, celebrity info or consumer updates, but because I get tired of viewing page after page after page of negativity.  However, I am aware that violence is all around us.

I have noticed that when an incident of violence occurs and the assailant is caucasian, it is delivered differently than that of crimes committed by one of another race.  Similar to this:

The seven hour long stand-off including a 36 year-old man by the name of Timothy Thompson of Westerville, OH ended moments ago with the suspect walking out of his suburban home waiving a gun at police who were forced to take down the gunman.  Witnesses say that Thompson entered the Shady Stays Retirement Complex lobby around 11:25 am and proceeded to open fire on the senior citizen residents speaking no words at all.  Thompson shot over one hundred thirty rounds from his AK-47 killing 10 and wounding 2 before fleeing the scene on foot to his home.  Local police say it is the worst incident they’d seen in the history of the city.  Officials and family members of Thompson say that he must have been suffering from depression as he was “always such a nice person” and “…never even held a gun in his entire life.” says Thompsons wife, Melanie of three years…

I’ll stop there.  You get the point.  Good news is that this never happened.  I made that story up entirely but it sounds like you’ve heard something like it haven’t you.  Let’s flip it to an African-American male by the name of Terrence Tarver that opens fire at a local night club in Houston, TX after being threatened by another patron (also with a gun), killing the man that threatened his life.   Once a story like this hits the airwaves, viewers get reports of his truancy report in junior high school, license suspension for unpaid parking tickets, list of overdrafted bank accounts, that one domestic dispute with the mother of his only child, etc., etc., etc., and bam!  He’s done for.   Your perception has been implanted rather than you accepting your own perception.

While Thompson needs help, Tarver is a monster.

It pains me to see how the media can twist up terrible events to be even more terrible.  Ugh!!!  And then you have those ridiculously aggravating posts on social media that end in hashtags like #IhopeTarverfries.  The outpour of the real evil within those that hide behind a keyboard or a smartphone.  The way the judicial system is preparing for it’s Ringling Bros. type performances with “eyewitnesses” and “key evidence”.  It’s all enough to make you sick.

So, why is it that we accept mental illness as a justifiable reason for massacres?  How come when good ol’ Timmy snaps crazy we just let it slide?  It’s because it’s easier the media has done a wonderful job of keeping us entertained rather than encourage the forming of our own opinions.  I don’t care who you are or what condition you have, wrong is plain wrong!  If Tarver did what Thompson did, he’d be dead wrong too!  You can keep your doctors note.  If it wasn’t presented when he bought the gun….it doesn’t matter.  As such to say it is also wrong to go digging in the sandbox to try and find compound BS to put on someone that was acting in self defense.  Ridiculous!!

The world we live in is a true mess at times.  Seriously.  We’ve become so accustom to bad news that we’re not even shocked anymore.  Some of us just look at the news to make sure the bad things that happened, didn’t happen too damn close.  If you really want to know how mental illnesses affect people and their actions….do your research.  But don’t just allow the media to tell you something is okay just because.

~Queen

New Day…New Me…New Blog

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Not too long ago, placed a post on “What You Don’t Know About Domestic Violence” from my previous blog on BlogSpot.  I’ve actually gone through four blogs.  Each one encouraged by a significant change in my life.  At this point, it may seem like I have yet another change to my social media entries and what not.  And oh my goodness, what is Queen up to?  There’s a reason for all these changes.  They’re necessary.  Allow me to tell you why.

With change should come wisdom right?  Not so all the time.  Some times change just happens to change.  No real progression or improvement to follow.  Just a different way of doing the same.  I can admit that’s what I’d been doing.  So what makes this blog different?  Why should we pay any attention to this one?  Good question.  I wish I had a sure fire answer.  But the only way I can prove any real reason for people to get into a blog like mine is to give readers something they either haven’t seen in a long time, or something they haven’t seen before.  Me.  I know, I know…it seems cliche but hear me out.

Every single day, I wake up trying to figure out how to make my day better than before.  How to reach more people and make a bigger impact on the world one set of eyes and ears at a time.  And for the most part, I’ve been inadvertently comparing myself to others and how they do things.  Not fully owning up to one of my most used quotes:  “I’m the best me there is.”  Now, being newly and completely divorced, facing some of the hardest times in my life and being more determined than ever, I’m prepared to deliver.

In this blog I’m going to have posts about many different subjects.  From encouragement, inspiration, relationships, family, health, beauty, cooking and one of my favorite things on the planet besides my faith and my children….poetry.  Seeing is believing.

This should be fun.

~Queen

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